The following poem is based on a conversation with The Eldest – I kid you not.
How I love to hear stories from all over the garden
things that so and so did and whoever didn’t say ‘Pardon’
So that one did that did they?
Well now, “What did you say?’
You’re kidding me, that can’t be true!
You must be pulling the one with bells on; it’s gone skew
Are you sure you have all the facts
these stories you postulate seem like complete random acts
A dwarf? Stole a lawnmower? From the Headmasters office?
It’s not possible, perhaps it was Chuck Norris
A child, disguised as a dwarf, now that makes perfect sense
for a moment there you had me all tense.
He keeps the lawmower there because it’s happened before?
to move it in and out for general use must be quite a chore.
In the meantime; ‘what happened to your pencil case?’
It was stolen? While you were having and egg and spoon race?
I better have a word with your teacher, she’ll know what’s behind all this!
Oh you were joking, you crack me up, living with you is a special kind of bliss.
And besides Ma’am’s in love with Mr Nel?
You know if you fib like this you’re going straight to Hell.
No, you’re right, you probably won’t fit in
since it’s quite clear that you are your Mother’s own saintly story telling kin.