I shudder each time one of my children (who are still little) climbs into a cupboard – apart from the usual dangers; getting their fingers slammed in the hinges or doors, the latch slipping closed and them being locked in and me wandering off to go and pour myself some wine. I can’t bear to hear them say, “Look, Mom, I’m in the cupboard” – my symbolic mind translating it into that good old American slang term ‘closet’, “Look, Mom, I’m in the closet.” ‘Oh, no my poor child,’ I think, ‘you don’t want to be in the closet – you want to be free and unjudged about your lifestyle choices, has Mommy not done a good enough job on building your confidence and pride on who you are?’ ‘Oh,’ I wail in my mind voice and gnash my teeth, ‘I have failed you my precious charges! Failed You and Failed Myself!’
It’s going around, this intolerance of People, that are just People. For time immemorial, we’ve all been different from each other. Some cultures have celebrated it, some have denied it and some have even had the ‘odd ones’ persecuted for it. Now that our earthly population is 7 billion strong and it’s more obvious that each of us is unique – isn’t there a way that we can all get along?
A widow friend of mine has a little boy who is growing up with just her and his older sister, little fellow is 2 years old. He likes to wear some beads around his neck and a handbag on his arm. He is a fan of a long flowy dress and will plaster his face with any cosmetic in reach, nailpolish included, with pink high heels to boot. He’s a usually a quiet guy but when he comes out of his shell he can jump on a trampoline like he’s possessed. Leap into the swimming pool into any arms that will have him. Race his bike up and down the driveway, chase the dog around the yard and suck down water and chocolates like there’s no tomorrow. His behaviour is general knowledge among her friends but if he goes out into the general public he’s sure to be wearing Spiderman t shirts and khaki shorts. He’s just little guy but already he’s leading this strange double life.
I know a few sons who were raised by their mothers to be appreciative of the finer things in life. These boys that become men have impeccable manners and know how to treat a fellow human as if they had a tertiary education in it. If they bring you a bunch of blooms they could quite possibly name the flowers – that’s a rare trait for any human but so special in a Gentle Man. They appreciate the good workmanship on a well cut suit and are absoulute fonts of information when it comes to what suits a certain body shape. These guys can sew, knit and mend if they have to. They know a good haircut from a bad one. Spend time on their own appearance, perhaps to the point of vanity but nothing that hurts anyone else. Often they are well groomed too – perhaps with a penchant for an expensive aftershave. Or as the case may be not expensive but they have a higher level of cleanliness than some of their brethren who might have an aversion to soap. Bear in mind that these Soap Wary guys are not the dirty, gross kind but are just not on the level of Hygeine Appreciation that the guys I’m referring to are. These men enjoy ‘chick flicks’ – and are not ashamed to shed a little tear at the heart string pulling parts, instead of sniffing or wiping the snot on their sleeves will even ask for a tissue or (as if from they’re from the previous century) actually use their own hanky (none disposable tissue in the form of washable cotton, for one’s own personal use – one should also wash one’s own hanky and not make ones mother or significant other do it). At the same time they watch their favourite sports, not necessarily ice skating and gymnastics, but the more acceptable, cricket and rugby. One or two of them even have local soccer team that they support.
These guys get put into a box, get sensed out by something that’s been dubbed ‘Gadar’ and they get labelled accordingly. Whether it’s as a new Metrosexual or an old Homosexual it doesn’t matter that these men might married (to whatever gender they prefer), some of them have children (their biological or otherwise, human or furry children and are just the most Fantastic Fathers!). Isn’t it time that we stopped the negativity that judges these chaps and start applauding their effort at evolution?
This is not about sexuality, not by any means, this is about Peoplality (new word, use it, don’t use it) – it’s trying to find that middle ground that we find it so difficult to determine in our judgemental black and white minds. Who cares anymore if someone is ‘gay’ or ‘straight’? Ok – a lot of people and I suppose, from amongst other places, this is where this post has sprung from.
As a Mother, I really wouldn’t mind one of these men as my sons – who wouldn’t like someone who is sensitive and knowledgable enough to let you know that you can’t wear teal if you’re a ‘Winter’? Imagine the partner this person would bring home, be they male or female more than likely they would be someone that you would get along with because your son is The Nice Guy.
Perhaps not all of us are sick of The Bad Boy, I’d like to raise a son, not necessarily for the homosexual market – but if that’s his choice, gay schmay he’s still going to grow up into a Man. I would like my son to be comfortable in his own skin, confident in his choices and happy. I’d like him to grow up like some of my ultra cool and hip family and friends. These guys with a good eye for the quality and quantity in life.
I don’t know if society will let me get this right but I believe and pray that we’re evolving into a level of tolerance that won’t have our children judged and ostracised just because of their Peoplality.
After all these generations of fighting over race, colour and creed and more recently the uncloseted Sensitive Man – haven’t we learnt anything?
Question: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and goodlooking?
Answer: They already have boyfriends.
OR as I like to read it:
Question: Why is it difficult to find people who are sensitive, caring and goodlooking?
Answer: They already have partners (because they evolved into people that other people wouldn’t mind spending a lot of time with, they did this molded and shaped by a tolerant society that allowed them to make the right decisions that they wanted to on their own work in progress as a human being)