A View From My Point

H is for Hello

H is for Hello – what I think your kids first words should be, as soon as they’re born. Come on they’ve been able to hear you since 17 weeks in utero – 6 months is enough to pick up some of the language – and also, imagine how cute!

H is for Hoarse – first from singing lullabies and then from shouting at them to stop shouting

H is for Happy – what you want your kids to be even though you know that it’s not likely

H is for Haberdashery – get thee to thy sewing kit, there will be hems to sew in, buttons to be replaced, teddy bears to be darned (because it’s their favourite), collections of ribbons need a place to live too.

H is for Help – yes, Help, don’t be ashamed to admit you need some.

H is for Horlicks – don’t bother to drink it, you’re not going to sleep for long anyway

H is for Hemp – since you can’t smoke it you might as well wear it and they do a great children’s range these days too.

H is for Holidays – they’re for the offspring now, in Mommyland Holidays are the new 24 hour job and there’s only one shift and one employee

H is for Hats – often what determines the gender of a tiny baby, don’t discount these head adornments, they could save you a lot of fuming over someone saying, ‘oh what a cute little boy’ to ones dearest daughter.

H is for Hirsute – so we tend to ‘let ourselves go’ a little after the birth of each child. Hair removal is an effective way to make a ‘come back’

H is for Heart – they say that when you have children it’s like your own heart gets to walk around outside your body

H is for Handyman – become one, get one – but you’re going to NEED one.

H is for Half – half full, half empty – as long as you have a cup you’re doing fine. The insanity hasn’t kicked in completely.

H is for Hysterectomy – removal of internal organs. Can we wait until ‘V’ and then compare the two procedures and see whose idea this was in the first place?

H is for Has Been – is when your offspring start wearing the clothes that they are currently selling in the shops for young adults and you have a few ‘classic pieces’ that you still wear from High School – there’s no shame it’s call Time Marches On.

H is for Humble Pie – learn to like the taste as you have to eat your words after having said things as a childless person. Mostly the sentence will start with, ‘my kids will never…….’

H is for Hip – no not like ‘Cool’, now it’s a place where your kids will hang out until they get too heavy.

H is for Hankering – like a craving and not as intense but perhaps a little more constant – and instead of food you’ll have a hankering for things like Silence, Peace and Quiet

H is for Hope – I find with little children that one is always hoping for something, that they’ll sleep through the night, that they’ll gain enough weight, that they’ll make good friends easily, that they won’t hurt their siblings too much. Hope doesn’t Hurt.

H is for Hahahahahahahaha – laugh with or be laughed at but get a lot of laughter, it’s good exercise for the face, cheapest way to lift the bags under one’s eyes.

H is for Honesty – I don’t know where this fits in but I suppose there is a place for it between you and the Co-Parent, just don’t overdo it because what they don’t know can’t hurt them.

H is for Hell – if it’s hot, noisy and painful then I think that labour might be pretty close to hell but the ecstasy of having an infant (really just the first hour or so) might be pretty close to Heaven

H is for Heaven – do yourself a favour and dress your offspring like Angels and take photos. We don’t tend to remember the bad stuff and a picture is worth a thousand words worth of memories.


Comments on: "H is for Hello" (3)

  1. Chandre said:

    Humble pie bit is my favourite….
    Hypocrites they will be when they have
    Heirs :))

    • Oh man – I am the biggest Hypocrite of all!! You should have heard all the things that I said before I procreated *cringe*!

  2. H is for Hilarious, as always! xx

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