E is for Epidural – make mine a double.
E is for Expressing – a term that ceases to pertain to ones emotions and starts to mean something for one’s mammary glands.
E is for Emotions – think of it as a new ride at the Fun Park and take the highs with the lows. Not only yours of course – the offspring seem to have Emotions too.
E is for Excellent – a word that when said sarcastically means nothing to The Offspring
E is for Egg – you’ll be lucky if you have a warm fried one before they’ve left the nest
E is for Etch & Sketch – if you have more than one child you’ll need more than one of these and the little magnetic pens don’t write on walls/tables/couches/bedding etc.
E is for Epileptic – not funny if it happens to you
E is for Ectoplasm – try and explain that to short people who unwarily ask complicated questions
E is for Etcetera – nope, that’s not going to cut it –they’ll need a complete list with illustrations
E is for Exceptional – all our children are – the range of Normal is so broad
E is for Entertainment – can I suggest satellite tv
E is for Epic – this is the journey you set yourself on from the moment of conception
E is for Elderly – what your children make you.
E is for e-mail – expect an overflowing inbox while you get down to the full nitty gritty of Parenting.
E is for Electricity – although we can’t do without it when raising children it’s remarkable accessible for those little fingers – Children and Electricity are not a good mix.
E is for ENT – get yourself a personal Ear, Nose and Throat specialist and subsidies their overseas holidays.
E is for Edge – your space on the bed.
E is for Excrement – if you need an explanation on this you’re not parenting properly.
E is for Embrace – every moment with you little children, they’re only little once.
E is for Editing – it’s an art they the kids don’t learn so be prepared to listen to LONG stories and LONG made up songs.
E is for Empty Nest – a myth unless you’ve made a mistake and your children don’t like you enough to come back.
E is for Eleven – the new time to celebrate New Year’s Eve. Very few new parents get passed this hour on 31 December that last hour of the year seems so much more precious if dedicated to sleep.
E is for Elephant – did you know that these pachyderms are pregnant for more than a year? Respect.
E is for Eish
E is for Eldest – every child wants to be your favourite, this way the Eldest can be your favourite Eldest Child, and the Second Child can be your favourite Second Child etc.
E is for Etiquette – you can teach them whatever you like but by the time they’ve been in school for 3 months it’s all for nought.