B is for Breastmilk and Bottles – things that will keep you awake at night no matter which way you nurture your young.
B is for Babies – what your offspring are for such a short time in life.
B is for Bat – what to hand siblings when it get out of hand.
B is for Bumps and Bruises – what you’ll be kissing more often than a lovers lip.
B is for Bigger – what your clothes become after each addition to the family
B is for Blast – the sounds of music from a teenagers head phones.
B is for Brats – how your children will behave if they don’t get enough food/water/sleep/love/attention – whatever they want.
B is for Blind – what your children will think you are when they are up to mischief.
B is for Bank Loan – to simply cover the costs of Family life.
B is for Bastard – what your poor mite will be accused of being if you don’t name and shame your co-parent.
B is for Brink Of Disaster – where you’ll constantly be moving back from with each new developmental phase.
B is for Bankrupt – after paying school fees and investing in Extra Curricular Activities it’s what you’ll be.
B is for Bum – the business end of the human that is your business until they’re old enough to survive e coli.
B is for Bart Simpson – who was funny until your own child started to model his behaviour on the horrid yellow fellow.
B is for Blink – the actual time it takes from Birth to Empty Nest syndrome – it’s only while you’re in the thick of it that it seems to last forever.
B is for Bed – a place for jumping on and cracking your head open.
B is for Biscuit – staple diet of mine, have managed to make ‘trick’ biscuits with pumpkin and broccoli in them. My conscience is eased.
B is for Belly – yours will never be the same again. And their now become your problem too.
B is for Blurb – what you’ll have time to read – and that is all.
B is for Books – great big stacks of them that pile up and you can look at wistfully while you read Dr Seuss to them.
B is for Blogging – an activity that helps to process the new feelings that you might have but helps not one iota in the hands on day to day maintenance of little children. Except, I suppose, if it’s preserving your last modicum of sanity.