A is for Abstinence – what you should have considered before taking on this momentous task.
A is for Adult – what you should really try to be before you become a parent and what you probably will become once your first offspring has sprung forth.
A is for Almighty – who you’ll be calling on in the wee hours to help you preserve your sanity.
A is for Accident – what potty training children will have a lot of.
A is for A**h*le – what your co-parent becomes because they simply ‘don’t understand’ what you’re going through – note to self: they probably understand better than most since they’re the CO-parent and have also just started on this journey called Parenthood
A is for Appropriate Language – what you should be using from conception onwards, since the foetus in the womb can hear you from about 15 weeks. Keep it Clean.
A is for Always be On Time – you can’t let your kid be the one left with the teacher on the pavement. It’s a sure fire way to get involved on the wrong side of Social Services.
A is for Academic – some kids are and some kids aren’t. Be sure you’re not hammering square pegs into round holes.
A is for Aspirations – Your offspring has their own – don’t impose your forgotten dreams on them.
A is for Anti-depressants – don’t be ashamed to admit you might need a pick me upper – you’ll only be doing those around you a disservice. Sometimes you can’t fake it till you make it.
A is for Apple – by the age of 5 they can help themselves to their one a day – be sure not to still be coring and peeling it for too long, you’ll only be making work for yourself.
A is for Astrology – yes, maybe the stars do have more answers than the bookshelf of parenting manuals you already own. Give it go – knowledge is never wasted.
A is for Ants – you know they taste horrible and burny, but the new people you birthed don’t. How did YOU find out this little titbit of information? Think about it – would you want to deny them the experience? Telling them the truth only gives you the license to say ‘I told you so.’ You’re a parent now – perhaps you can behave a little more maturely.